Oh Christmas Tree...errrh...Oh Cheese Ball

Being back in Nashville always seems like a nice and relaxing time until I get here and then it turns into a three ring circus...running here and there and everywhere. Last night I finally had some time to reflect so I made a cheese ball for dinner. I'm not sure a weight loss blog that starts off with a cheese ball for dinner is the best idea but go with me here.

Making, and eating and then throwing away the cheese ball was a bit symbolic of this whole process. Basically I go out of my way to make this hard for me. I didn't go to the store and BUY a cheese ball....no, I went to the store and bought all of the ingredients needed-- spent 30 minutes in the kitchen making it and then started eating it. The good thing? I had some of it and then threw the rest away. I didn't put it in the fridge for later consumption.

I've got to do a better job of setting myself up for success.

The good news is that I'm back on the Lose It app and have done killer workouts the last 2 days. AND...i'm about to pop up now for a Christmas morning hike. Then off to dad's for brunch, then to feed Herr Ludwig the Cat, then back to my house to make a cake and then to Bryn's for proper gift giving and what not.

Much love to all on Christmas and much love to me just because.

When Are you Due?

Dear Lord Please Don't Let Me Eat An Entire Cheese Ball Today To Make Up For A Stupid Lady.

Look Back: In 2008 I was wearing a green baby doll dress to my already stress inducing High School reunion and some idiot asked me when my baby was due. While I was drinking alcohol. I promised myself never to get that offended ever again if some stupid person asked me that question.

Today, while I was contemplating spending way too much money at Tiffany's the lovely sales lady asked when I was due. I truly didn't hear her correctly, and thought she asked "what" I did...as in, I'm in marketing lady, but then she REPEATED herself. I coyly smiled and told her I wasn't DUE or going to be due. At first I was a bit taken aback because we all know the rule...And the rule is NEVER, UNDER ANY FUCKING CIRCUMSTANCE EVER ASK A WOMAN WHEN SHE IS DUE UNLESS SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE NEEDS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO GIVE BIRTH THAT VERY SECOND.

But then I looked at myself: baggy dress, covered by a really baggy long sweater, a scarf, leggings and boots. I had also commented that my fingers were swollen recently. I was totally giving her...pregnant lady.

The next thing I know she looks like she's about to cry so I tell her to not think another thing about it-- then she actually starts crying. And then I start crying. And now we're both crying at Tiffany's looking at beautiful Frank Gehry jewelery.

I think she learned the rule today. And I learned not to get (too) offended by people that mean no harm.

On that note-- I did a crazy hard workout this morning and have eaten well today. I promise to weigh when I get back to Atlanta.

Blaxican

Today had some highs and some lows.

The highs:
1. I ate healthy for breakfast
2. I had a orange bell pepper for dessert
3. I had training shirts made for my co-workers that are running the LA marathon in January and I sent them out today.
4. My dinner consisted of mostly vegetables

The lows:
1. The Blaxican food truck came to the office today-- My lunch isn't to be spoken about ever again but it involved mac & cheese and a sausage taco.
2. I've been stealing someone's Baby Bell cheeses in the office-- I shouldn't be stealing or eating them.
3. I worked too late and didn't go to the gym
4. My dinner also involved some pasta

Tomorrow morning I meet with my trainer again, who successfully kicked my ass on Tuesday. The ass kicking was along the lines of thinking I was near death. You get it.

Lastly, I applied to be the Poster Child for my company's "fit for flight" program. Basically-- I get to encourage everyone I work with to be healthy, work out, eat well-- all that good stuff-- and they help me achieve my goals too. We'll see if I get chosen.

Veggies and what not

So, today I'm going to work out with my trainer and to say that I'm nervous is what some may call an understatement. I've been active over the last few weeks but the eating has been pretty bad and I know that it can affect energy level and strength so hopefully I'll make it through without dying. No promises.

However, today I'm getting back on my Lose It App and have eaten, better and at the very least haven't had any alcohol (nor will I). I'm planning veggies and brown rice for dinner and will continue the healthy eating through the rest of the week.

I'm going to weigh again on Monday-- dear lord, don't let it be worse than when I started. So far to go-- and this isn't easy But I know I can do it.

Something about a wagon

I know there's a saying about getting on the wagon, falling off the wagon, towing the wagon, a wagon crossing the river via the Oregon trail-- all of that. I'm not exactly sure what type of wagon's people always refer to whether they are red, made of wood, go fast or slow or have horses pulling them.

All I know is that I seem to have missed the wagon and fallen directly from an airplane without a parachute. 5 days of vacation, then directly to 5 days in Key West with my co-workers, and now to 4 days of vacation has not been great for my goals. I stopped using my app, I've been eating pretty miserably, and I've been drinking pina colada's. But it's not ALL BAD NEWS. Yesterday I walked/ran (ok, I walked) a 5K. Today I walked another 5K and also kayaked for 2 hours. Tomorrow I'll snorkel and get some walking in as well.

Monday I'll fly back to Atlanta and I've decided to stay until Saturday to get back on at least 5 days of normal schedule before heading back to Nashville. Then I'll stay in Nashville until the 1st to try and get into a schedule in Nashville-- it's all about the schedule. I've also decided to not drink for the month of January as solidarity with my boss as she's going to cleanse for the month.

OK. Enough of this...I'm at the beach. Later yall.

A little hazy.

I've had much to say recently but am having a hard time putting it down on paper, er..blog. I'll try to break it up here.

1. I gained weight last week. 1.5lbs. In some ways I'm surprised as I started tracking my food/calories last week and per my Lose It App I should have easily lost 2 lbs last week as I stayed under my calorie allowance by over 3,000. That being said, I juice cleansed prior to the week before's weigh which leads me to believe that most of it was water weight. I don't plan to juice cleanse anymore right before a weigh as I think it gives an inaccurate gauge of where I actually am. Lastly, on the weight thing-- I'm going to start weighing on Monday's. The reason is that it's how the Lose It tracks my calories and once I start traveling more it's more likely that I'm at home on a Monday AM than a Wednesday AM. I'll start next Monday.

2. Yesterday I had my first training session with Brandy my new personal trainer- HOLY SHIT I'm sore today. It was only 30 minutes but I was drenched in sweat by minute 10-- it's probably the hardest I've worked in 30 minutes since high school soccer. The best part? I didn't have time to complain or say anything about well, anything. In the past my personal trainers have all been relatively chatty which made my workout more of a social session and less of a kick your butt session. We moved so quickly from 1 exercise to another there was no time for anything else.

3. Currently I'm located in a beautiful home on St. George Island-- the bay is just feet away and I'm enjoying myself immensely. Usually when I'm down here I eat really well but last night was pretty horrible-- it involved way too much wine, pasta, mashed potatoes and dessert. We were celebrating Coke's birthday and our dear friend Jonathan played some beautiful guitar music at the restaurant to top off the evening.

4. I was planning on training for a 5k while I'm on vacation but that got put to a swift halt today when I went out for a run and realized I fucking hate running. I'm horrible at it. My feet hurt. I was sore from yesterday's workout, I have some other non mentionable pains and I was miserable. Maybe one day I'll enjoy running again-- today is not the day. And it's not like I'm not working out-- I walked 3 miles this morning, will do another few mile walk later today on the beach and will also get in a yoga session today. I think it's OK that I don't run.

5. Lastly, Big thanks to John Wells who sent me a message on Lose It reminding me to not stop tracking while I'm on vacation. Just that little message got me back on track and helped a lot-- thanks Wells. We got this.

VACATION. yes please.

Tomorrow after I work out with my new trainer for the first time I'm heading for a little beach vacay to St. George Island until Sunday. That's 4 whole sleeps at the beach-- I can't wait. Most of my beach trips involve copious amounts of seafood, white wine and beach walks. This time I'm going to decrease the wine consumption, increase the walks and we'll be good. I always eat pretty healthy cause mostly I consume salads and fish or salads and shrimp or nothing but oysters.

However, this beach trip will be a little different- I'm going to teach myself how to run again because in 1 week I have to run a 5K with work people and to say that I can't run a 5K right now is a bit of an understatement. I'm also vacationing with a yoga teacher (Linda) and I've asked her to lead me in some classes-- so I figure if I run and yoga every day I'll be doing pretty amazing.

On the way to St. George I'm going to stop in Carrabelle where my uncle Bo has set up his new home-- super excited to see how he's living in this sleepy little coastal town.

I'm a bit nervous for tomorrow's workout session as I haven't eaten the best the last few days but I have been good about working out-- need to get back on track fo shizzle. More on that tomorrow.

I also made another cheese ball tonight for my friend Misty...and I might have had some of it. FUCK.

OK...happy thoughts. I'm off to pack!

Cheese, cheese and more cheese

So....I've been doing AMAZING on the workouts-- really killing it. However, Sunday was my good friend Whitney's holiday party and I made the Laiolo cheese ball-- that shit is just amazing. Then my friend Ashley made this buffalo chicken cream cheese dip of sorts...and Marc brought Frito's. It was ON like Donkey Kong. All of that being said-- I stayed within my weekly calorie budget with a couple of thousand to spare-- GO ME. We'll see what happens when it's scale time on Wednesday.

Wells apparently struggled this weekend with the food and alcohol and I can totally empathize but we're in this together.

More to come this week when I start training for a 5K. This should be funny.

40 year old skinny bitches

So, I attend a gym that consists of what seems to be Atlanta's finest 40 year old's (ish), that are in amazing shape and are also equally beautiful. I'm not sure exactly what draws this crowd to my gym...maybe it's other people that look the same as them but that's pretty much the demo. There's also a scattering of really in shape guys-- most seem to be gay although some are definitely dragged by their 40 year old insanely in shape wife or girlfriend.

Now, I have no room to call any of these women bitches, in fact, none of them have been mean to me-- mostly I'm just jealous of their ridiculously insane bodies (at 40) and the fact that they have plenty of money to adorn themselves in Lululemon from head to toe.

Earlier today when I was at the gym I realized there's this 1 really tall woman that I see there all the time (she fits into the aforementioned category-- 40ish, lululemon wearing, insane body...you get the point) and I came to a realization-- these women have these insane bodies because they are in the gym ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I imagine they also eat well-- they probably own stock in nutritional yeast companies, never drink beer and would turn their nose up at an empanada (shout out to Ruben)!

It dawned on me that this really is a lifestyle. It's not something I'm doing until May and/or I get to my goal weight and then I just get to go on auto-drive. Nope. Once I lose all the weight and get to a good place I don't get to go back to a diet of chicken wings, pasta, cheese on cheese on cheese and too much booze. I don't get to become sedentary again. I mean, I could do all of those things but then I'll end up where I am now-- or where I was a month ago. That's not a fucking option. It turns out I want to be one of those 40 year old bitches who can plank for hours, who look amazing doing mountain climbers, whose back muscles I can actually SEE. I'm certainly never going to give up treating myself-- because we all know--- I like food and the food industry way too much for that to happen BUT...I don't get to relax. This isn't about relaxing, in fact, it's about a way of life. The sooner that I come to that realization the sooner I stop fighting myself.

I remember watching Bob the trainer on the Biggest Loser telling his team this all the time-- it's a way of life-- but for the most part they go back home and it turns out it's not THEIR way of life. That's what makes me feel good about doing it this way. I'm not trying to lose 10 lbs a week. I'm not working out 4 hours a day and eating 800 calories. Nope. This is a way of life. It's not going to come overnight-- but that's OK because I have the rest of my life to live this way. BOOM!